And now, the end is here...

And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

i'm in a strange place right now. in one week i retire after 37 years of doing something i truly, truly love - working with kids. i know it is the right decision. my friends have told me over and over how it is the right decision for me, but it is really very scary.

i have gone through all of the stages of grief, at least i thought i had, since i made the decision, but you never can be certain of anything, really.

i always had a special place in my heart and life for the song my way. i think that i know why better now than at any other time in the past.

i really like this version by robbie williams. there is a spot towards the end where you look at his face and he is ready to cry. i feel that way right now. it is the first time i felt like crying, maybe because it is one-week my life completely changes.

the one thing that i can say is that the most important thing in living my life is having done it my way. i never compromised on that, and i had parents that allowed me to do it. i am very fortunate...

more than anyone can know

i've also posted this on my main site - no matter what

hey folks here's the story 'bout minnie the moocher...

she was a lowdown hoochie coocher
she was the roughest toughest frail
but minnie had a heart as big as a whale

think that mtv & music videos are an invention of the 80's? think again. they've been around since al jolson!

if you like old cartoons and great blues, you'll love this one. especially if you adore betty boop...


Online Videos by Veoh.com

love the word hoochie coocher. it's still a favorite and oft used word in the black culture. i hear it all the time at work...

the day the music died...

We were singing,
"bye-bye, miss american pie."

don maclean's song has been going round-n-round in my head all week. yesterday, while i was at the grocery store it was played on the speakers. i decided that i better post it since it's been so prominent for me the last several days.

the video below brought up many, many memories and emotions while i watched it. what got me is that they weren't just photos. i had seen each one as it was originally seen at the time it was live. the one that got me the most? the picture from the kent state killings. that picture literally shook my world. it cemented my belief as a pacifist. human life is the most, if not the only, important thing that exists. no one has a right to it - except you & me.

more than just music died that day...

oh what a world...

we live in.



great song. it's also one of those that gets stuck in your head.

every day is halloween if you really think about it. people just don't wear outrageous costumes all the time. they hide their fabulousness behind a shroud of secrecy.

Why am I always on a plane or a fast train

Oh what a world my parents gave me

Always

Travelin' but not in love



Still I think I'm doin' fine

Wouldn't it be a lovely headline

Life is

Beautiful on a New York Times

in my life...

i loved them all.




this is one of the beatles' songs that sounds better sung by someone else. many have done it - bette midler, judy collins, renee fleming. they are all beautifully done.

though i don't want any kind of memorial service or anything when i die, i've always thought that, if i did, this would be the song that should be played.

a life belongs to one person - the person living it. the community that we create as we live it defines its parameters, joys, sadnesses, hopes, dreams, and loves. this song celebrates a life...

life passes...

in a taxi cab ride.

being in high school and college for the span of the 1960's, i was part of the dawning of the age of aquarius. the decade was tumultuous to put it mildly. it was wrought with revolutionary idea after revolutionary idea. it was, i would like to think, a time when democracy was taken to a level that would include everyone no matter their race, religion, orientation, ethnicity, color, gender.... sometimes, i wonder what happened to all of the lofty ideas and promises. there was lots of promise.

of course, today, we have gone somewhat backward. it's all right to say you hate a specific group on the radio with thousands listening. it's common place to watch men and women bleeding from roadside bombs on the television. it's de rigeur to have your thoughts and beliefs questioned, categorized and put down. i guess the world just wasn't ready yet.

besides rock music, one of the bigger musical genres was folk. joan baez, judy collins, pete seeger, fairport convention, peter, paul and mary all were mainstays of the day. i was drawn to folk music because of its storytelling nature. i love songs that tell stories.

one of the great stroytellers was harry chapin. i know that people rue his untimely death and wonder what music would be like if he hadn't died in that crash, but it's what happened and it doesn't really make any difference. he had the ability to take a very insignifacant occurrence and to turn it into a great song. after dance band on the titanic, taxi is my favorite harry chapin.



there is a second part to the story entitled sequel.

when i listen to taxi, i almost feel like i'm in the taxi with him...

children, always remember...

not quite a song, but great fun and an all time favorite. sarah cyntha sylvia stout would not take the garbage out... by shel silverstein. the video is actually shel reciting the poem from his book where the sidewalk ends. i love his stuff and so do kids. he talks directly to them. he also wrote two very famous songs - the unicorn made famous by the irish rovers and a boy named sue that just may have made johnny cash a household name. amazing.

sarah cynthia sylvia stout is my favorite. the guy who created this video did a great job. my other favorite is ma and god

Ma and God

God gave us fingers—Ma says, “Use your fork.”

God gave us voices—Ma says, “Don’t scream.”

Ma says eat broccoli, cereal and carrots.

But God gave us tasteys for maple ice cream.



God gave us fingers—Ma says, “Use your hanky.”

God gave us puddles—Ma says, “Don’t splash.”

Ma says, “Be quiet, your father is sleeping.”

But God gave us garbage can covers to crash.



God gave us fingers—Ma says “Put your gloves on.”

God gave us raindrops—Ma says, “Don’t get wet.”

Ma says be careful, and don’t get too near to

Those strange lovely dogs that God gave us to pet.



God gave us fingers—Ma says, “Go wash ‘em.”

But God gave us coal bins and nice dirty bodies.

And I ain’t too smart, but there’s one thing for certain—

Either Ma’s wrong or else God is.

to be at the top...

etre à la hauteur is from a french musical Le Roi Soleil about louis xiv. i know. only the french would do a musical about the sun king. well, maybe. maybe not. this song was also one of the top hits in france the year it premiered with thanks to the young man singing the song - emmanuel moire. besides, i like the song.

Emmanuel Moire - Etre à la hauteur

so what's it like to be at the top? lonely...

sins of the flesh...

the history of the world, my dear, is who gets eaten and who gets to eat...



we'll serve anyone, and to anyone, at all...........

try a little priest!

faerie tales...

though i prefer the original version with bernadette peters, i really like the message that barbra gives with her rendition. my life has been surrounded by children. i see in them the hope of everything. they are going to be what i will miss the most when i retire in march.

sam, i thought i told you never to play...

the tension is instant in the scene on what is repeatedly cited as the most popular love song of all time by movie experts and film lovers from around the world. the american film institute lists it as the #2 movie song in 100 years of music. their number one song is over the rainbow. but, that's not a love song.

a legend began with as time goes by from the movie casablanca. the legend is that the line ilsa uses in the movie is play it again, sam. nothing is farther from the truth. woody allen only made it worse by naming a movie with the phrase.

what ilsa actually says is:

play it once, sam....
for old-times sake....
play it, sam.
play...
as time goes by .

la di, de di de dum, la di de de de dum...

sing it, sam.

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

the acting is all in the faces. watch sam, ilsa and rick. the emotions flash quickly from just their expressions. if you've never seen the film, you will not miss 85 minutes from your life. the movie is well worth it.

chanteuse...

i love most everything french. i am a tried and true francophile and i'm unashamed of that. i love paris. i love the food. i love the art. i love the music. well, except for french opera. yeah, i know, i'm what would be considered an opera nut, but french opera is really musically boring to me. most, not all.

don't worry, i'm not doing any french opera in this post. i'm going to post my favorite french chanteuse. no, not piaf, though i do love her music and voice. my favorite is very contemporary - patricia kaas.

she is probably the most successful french singer in the world today, at least the most listened and purchased. she is from moselle on the franco-german border and speaks both french and german fluently. she has a number of songs in german included on her discography.

i discovered her on one of my trips to paris at the fnc store on le place de la bastille. i was looking for new cd's by jean-jacques goldman, my favorite french chanteur and found patricia instead. she, or rather her music, quickly became an obsession.

her voice is very distinctive. throaty. gravelly at times, very sexy most of the time. her one foray into movies was and now, ladies and gentlemen... with jeremy irons in which she played, of course, a chanteuse. it's not a very noteworthy film, but her voice is stupendous.

this is my current favorite. from her debut album entitled mademoiselle chante le bleus - the lady sings the blues. this is a rather laidback version. there's a concert version that rocks.

enjoy...

Patricia Kaas-Mlle Chante le Blues
Uploaded by djoik

memories that never leave you...

pete and i had gone to grammar school together but weren't actually friends. we went to different high schools. he chose a catholic school and me my first foray into a public high school. we hooked up again in college and became friends. april was the catalyst for this happening. they were dating, eventually became engaged and married. later, they divorced. we've lost touch as happens in the journey of life.

sitting on the back porch of the rectory at the newman center in college one evening, pete and i were studying. april was strumming on her guitar and humming. it was just a typical thing for the three of us to do. we were inseparable for a long period of time. father mcginn, the pastor of the newman center, was a brilliant man, a cartesian scholar, but had problems with the simple things in life. he was down to earth and caring and he loved to hear april sing.

on this evening he came in after dinner and, ahem, a couple of his favorite manhattans, heard april on her guitar and got instantly excited. "

april, april. play that song i really like. you know the one. both sides at the same time...

we couldn't hold it in. we were always laughing at and with this dear, dear man. he ignored us because he knew we loved him. april always knew what he was talking about. she played it for him all the time. he even let her play it at mass, i believe.

if you aren't familiar with the song, it's actually joni mitchell's both sides now. great song with lots of meanings and an explanation of what it's all about.

judy collins' version is my favorite. pay attention to the sound coming out of that twelve-string guitar. she's magic. enjoy...



my thanks to nicole belle over at crooksandliars.com for bringing this back into my life...

maturity...

i thought that richard strauss was a sellout after abandoning music like elektra and salome for going back to very lyrical and romantic opera with der rosenkavelier. my friend, jimmy, said that i would come to appreciate it later. i wouldn't agree with him. he also said something else about it. "it's the old queen's opera.

how true. how true. i saw it for the first time this past year. i did appreciate it very much. the lush music, the phenomenal orchestration and the message in the libretto are remarkable. i saw/heard in it something that was only fleeting in listening to it before this. it suddenly had a meaning both in music and words that i couldn't see when i was younger.

if you're not familiar with the libretto, it is about the marschallin who is realizing that she has gotten older and dalliances with younger men are not as exciting as they once were. she matures. it isn't sad; it's more bittersweet. a realization that life isn't passing you by. you don't have to fight it. you have to be part of it.

as far as the old queen comment jimmy made? he was right. the only thing was that he was 5 months younger than me! and as my friend drew used to say, you can only be a queen if your mother is dead. until then, you're just another princess...!

i now fit into both categories. i love it.

this is a video with renee fleming as the marschallin, frederika von stade as octavian and kathleen battle as sophie. fleming is well noted for her portrayal. a classic soprano who is well loved for playing the marschallin is elizabeth schwartzkopf. enjoy...

if the doors of perception...

were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through' narrow chinks of his cavern."
William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
by way of Aldous Huxley's book, The Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell.

jim morrison could quote from Huxley's book chapter and verse. i first fell in love with jim morrison's words in high school. the music only enhanced his words for me. light my fire was an anomaly in my mind. it was a pop song that everyone was dancing to. noone listened to the words.

We tripped the wall, we scaled the graveyard
Ancient shapes were all around us.
The wet dew felt fresh beside the fog.

the illusion is vast. the words tripped off his tungue. the sexual overtones were blatant. the meaning was couched in acid.

jim morrison's other poetry was more important in my mind. they were probably my intitial foray into existentialism before i ever knew what the word meant.

in trying to decide the door's song that would be my favorite, i can't. my least favorite, of course, is light my fire. i would be hard pressed to decide between alabama song, by kurt weill, and the end which was actually the beginning for me. they are so opposite of each other.

but, i have to give you a different door's song - riders on the storm. why? it would be the thing to do considering the incongruity of jim morrison...

who knows where the time goes...

this song, written by sandy denny and sung by judy collins, is my depression song.

what i mean by that is if i'm feeling funky and not knowing exactly what my state of mind is really at the moment, i'll put this on the cd player or ipod. if i start to cry or am on the verge of crying, i know i'm depressed. listening to the song helps get me out of the funk.

listen closely to the words. the two lines that have special meaning for me are I do not count the time and I do not fear the time. time is the bandit that steals our lives. there is nothing we can do about the passage of time. it is the one constant in the world. kind of strange calling it a constant. there is nothing constant about it. it is ruled by change. i recently heard a line that the only people who like change are wet babies. the rest of us resist it.

how sad.

judy collins is one of my all time favorite performers and song writers. her music is story telling. i like songs that tell stories. this song, who knows where the time goes, is used in the video above as the opening of the movie the subject was roses. it's a great movie with patricia neal at her finest. and, yes, it is a bit depressing. but it also is filled with hope.

as the adage from the hopi indians goes, when hope is gone, life is over...

you'd think i'd crumble. you'd think i'd lay down and die...

i love this version, as short as it is. i used it at a professional development workship to my teachers as the opening activity of the year to show them that, though it was the beginning of the year, we would still all be there at the end of the school year. they loved it. as a matter of fact, other schools heard about it and borrowed it. as i did from victor navone. he went on to work for pixar. checkout his stuff here: vnog blog.

i will survive is the ultimate breakup song. especially, when you get to the anger part of the loss. you want to throw it in their face to tell them you can live without them. problem is, they already are living without you.

oh, well. here's a version i think you'll have fun with...

is everybody gay? is this the Twilight Zone?

i would be remiss...

if i didn't post this as the second entry of this new blog, given that the title of my main weblog is no matter what. the lyrics have special meaning and, if you were ever treated badly, bullied or felt like an outsider, this song addresses what it's like to be different and that it doesn't matter. be who you are...



the lyric

No matter what they tell US
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach US
What we believe is true

No matter what they call us
However they attack
No matter where they take us
We'll find our own way back

I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not (I know I'm not)
I know I'll love, forever (I know)
I know no matter what

If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered (hear my prayers)
Then we would hear God say

No matter what they tell US
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach US
What we believe is true

And I will keep you safe and strong
And shelter from the storm (no matter where)
No matter where it's barren (a dream)
A dream is being born

No matter who they follow
No matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us
I'll be everyone you need

No matter if the sun don't shine (the sun don't shine)
Or if the skies are blue (skies are blue)
No matter what the ending (my life)
My life began with you

I can't deny what I believe (what I believe)
I can't be what I'm not (I know I'm not)
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now, no matter what

the video above is from a live performance honoring Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber, who wrote the song. the program was for his 50th birthday, i believe. you can find the original video on youtube.com. it's visually stunning, but i like the simplicity of the one above. not to mention the icandy. oops...

this is my all-time favorite song. why? i view it as totally existential. it makes no sense and it makes great sense. it's memorable. it's hummable. it reminds me of my first great love, all be it unrequited.

music is probably the most important thing in our lives, at least in mine. i wake each morning with a song playing in my head. i connect it to things that happen, people i meet, and events that happen. a song will bring back a memory - good or bad. i connect music to every part of my life.